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And the Lord said, “it is not good for the man to be
 alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”  Genesis 2:18
 
 Time and again since I’ve started writing Inspirational Romance,
 I’ve encountered the question, “What does God have to do with romance?”
 To  which, I respond with amazement, “Everything!”  To
 me, one of the most  sacred mysteries is the love between a man and a
 woman, how two distinct  lives can be cleaved together and become one
 forever.  It is fascinating.  It is the basis of all of life.  Yet I think it is
 one of the most misunderstood elements of our society today.
 
 The confusion begins when we do not appreciate the
 difference between the body and the spirit.  The body is limited.  Asked to
 touch the ceiling without a ladder or a chair, and you might be
 hard-pressed to figure out how  to do that.  The spirit, on the other hand, is
 unlimited.  Lie on the grass  and let your spirit soar with a kite high into a
 soft blue sky, and it will  have no problem doing that.  This is the first
 roadblock that society has  put up between God and romance.  Society says that
 romance is based on  bodies—the physical.  God says romance is based in
 the spirit.
 
 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,
 bearing with one another in  love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the
 Spirit through the bond of  peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3
 
 How but in God can two souls touch, fall in love,
 and be bonded together forever?  How but in God can a couple weather the
 crises that inevitably  come in marriage?  How but with God at the center of
 the household can man  and wife become one flesh until death do them part?
 How, indeed?
 
 But the messages promoted by society say that to
 find a spouse, you must  first twist yourself and your beliefs into
 unrecognizable patterns to make  yourself “attractive” to another.  To be attractive
 you must focus almost  exclusively on the physical, ignore the spiritual,
 and forget God until  you’re ready to get married.  From this
 point-of-view, it’s no wonder that people think romance and God are exclusive clubs,
and you cannot belong to both.
 
 To me, that’s sad because God meant the mystery of
 marriage to be the most  intimate relationship two people can have.  True
 intimacy is romantic in  itself, and true intimacy is based not on the
 physical but on the spiritual  connection that two people share.  The connection
 that God Himself ordained  as holy.
 
 Let marriage be held in honor among all.
 --Hebrews 13:4
 
 And this connection starts when the couple first
 meets—not at the altar.
 
 By divorcing God from romance, we have taken God out
 of the relationship  between man and woman. So instead of explaining that
 in God and through God,  your relationship can be based on something real,
 and holy, and lasting, we throw our sons and daughters to the winds.  Telling
 them either, “Sex is  bad.  It is a sin.”  Or we give them condoms in
 schools on the erroneous  belief that “kids will be kids.”  To me, both are
 cop-outs.  We need to  guide our kids (and inform ourselves) that if God is
 at the center of the  relationship from the beginning, sex before marriage
 shouldn’t be a  question.
 
 Why?  Because true love is about getting to know one
 another on a deeper level than physical, because when you find true
 love, you want what is best for the other person, and because
 sex-before-marriage is always based on fear rather than love.  If it is love, if this
 relationship is forever in the eyes of God, why not get married first?  Reality
 is, marriage solidifies the union in the eyes of society, in God’s eyes, and
 in the eyes of the  participants.  Therefore, if it’s true love, why not
 wait?  Waiting is  respectful to both partners.  It will strengthen the
 commitment.  It will  solidify trust.  And it holds to the belief that God
 is indeed the center of  this union, and He will make a time and a place for
 everything.

 God and romance?  In the same breath?  What a
 radical concept, but so overwhelmingly wonderful when it becomes the center
 of your relationship with another.
 
 For love is from God and everyone that loves is born
 of God and know God…for God is love.
 --1 John 4:7-8

It’s a standard we should all strive for.

Copyright 2002 by Staci Stallings